Bisexual Story - Stuck in the Middle

We live in a society that likes to put people into categories. You're gay, he's straight, she's bisexual. For most, these categories help define who we are. Gay men fresh out of the closet can run down the street in pink leotards and shout, "Look at me, I'm a queen!" Straight men and women can talk about their state recognized marriages, their 2.2 kids and white picket fence. Lesbian women have so many categories that it's hard to keep track - butchies, lipstick lesbians, hasbians, LUGS, you name it. But what about bisexuals?

The bisexual story is one of being stuck in the middle. People on one end of the spectrum or the other can generally understand and accept someone as straight or gay, but when it comes to bisexuals, they get it from both ends, and I'm not talking about in a good way. Many bisexual men find themselves closeted more-so than their pure gay counterparts. You hear it all the time. Straights say that to be bi is to be confused. Gays say that bisexuals just need to come out of the closet already. But the truth is, these bi switch-hitters know exactly what they want. They want a relationship, or they want sex, with someone they're attracted to emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually or whatever.

The bisexual story is not a story of being confused. It's a simple matter of enjoying what they like. I like chocolate ice cream. You like vanilla. These guys - they just happen to go for the chocolate-vanilla swirl, maybe even with nuts. What difference does it make?

Bisexual women share a similar story. Sure, straight men love them - straight men love to watch two sexy babes go at it, tongues down one another's throat, groping, licking, touching, feeling. And then they want to join in. Of course, what straight man wouldn't want to be the center of attention for two bisexual women? It's in almost any mainstream porn DVD you see on the shelf these days. But the question becomes, are these women really bi? Or are they just doing what they know men like? Flip the coin and you don't see quite as many mmf bisexual encounters. Or at least, not as widely publicized. But the true story is, many women out there want two bisexual men in the same way as men want two women.

Sex is one thing, but relationships are another. One can go to a club, pick out a sex partner and have a hot night of steamy, sweaty sex, only to wake up the next morning and give them the old, "it was nice meeting you," or "I'll call you some time." It's easy and a lot of people do it. They find a tasty piece of meat and devour it, with no thoughts or regrets, and no real concern as to the person's sexual preferences. But what happens when that one-night-stand turns into something more substantial, and the person you met confesses that they like both sexes? What then?

Well, for a bisexual woman that has to explain this to her male partner, it tends to be easier, as long as she doesn't admit that she can actually have feelings for another woman other than in bed. A lot of swinger couples are the same way - sex is sex - I'll watch you do someone and you watch me. No feelings, no guilt, just hardcore sex. But get emotional? That throws a huge kink into the whole plan, and suddenly people become very defensive. If I can't capture all of your sexual interest, at least I could have you on an emotional level. And if I can't, then what?

Bisexual men have it hard - really hard. Mainstream America can't deal with these switch-hitters. They don't want to know about it, hear about it and they certainly don't want to see it. Where does this leave them? Many bi guys find themselves defined as either gay or straight, and keep everything else behind the scenes. Some of the strong ones are lucky enough to star in the next porn flick available on DVD.

Luckily, the bisexual story is changing. As people open up and become exposed to all lifestyles - straight, gay, bi, lesbian, transgender or whatever else, widespread acceptance starts to take place. The Internet is a huge motivational force in the movement. People too afraid to discuss alternative-lifestyle topics in person will often find online communities to express their feelings and beliefs, making friends, acquaintances and lovers along the way. Or they'll come to sites like adult-dvd-rental and maybe take a quick peek at some of the not-so-mainstream stuff they wouldn't admit to viewing in public. That's the beauty of the Internet - total anonymity. You can check out a website, order a DVD or whatever else, and no one has to know. You're a name on a list. And in the circumstances where you find yourself directly communicating with a porn merchant or provider of sex toys or other sexual merchandise, you're dealing with an online professional. These people know how important it is to be confidential with their clients, and the good ones adhere to that principal. It's as important a role as being a doctor or pharmacist. Anyway, be true to yourself, whatever category society says you fall into, and happy surfing.