New York Lesbian Dating

These days, it seems like gays and lesbians pop up everywhere you look. On T.V, your local grocery store, even at work. Being gay seems to be the new cool thing to be and a lot of straight people that I know have admitted to being very curious about the gay and lesbian sex life. Even though the population of people who are open about their sexuality is rising, you would think that finding a date or a lover would be easy. At least for me it really isn't.

I've been a lesbian before I even discovered that there was actually a name for my indifference towards boys. I've always been a tomboy and I had a huge crush on my neighbor's sister. When I was younger, I never knew of anyone else, boy or girl that was attracted to the same sex. I never dated a boy because I was not attracted to them and the closest I ever got to being with a girl was with my girl friends when we played "House" and I would always be the daddy. Now we all know what mummies and daddies do to make kids. Even though we never quite made any babies, that was my only way of playing out my attraction towards girls without being looked at as weird. Believe it or not, after many years of feeling guilty and dirty about using my girl friends to satisfy some of my curiosity with women, I discovered that many women, straight or gay have done the same thing. The first time I found out that there were others like me, I was about 11 years old and a friend of mine (whom by the way is a girl and probably the only one I never got to play "house" with) told me that a couple of girls from her school were caught "playing" with each other in the bathroom. Of course I acted surprised and repulsed, but deep down inside I was happy to know that there are others like me and that was when my search to find another "lesbian" girl began

Over the years I have matured and met plenty of my kind, lesbians and gays. I even learned more than expected. I learned lesbianism even has its own sub-categories. Categories like Butch (also known as Stud or Aggressive) - women that play the dominant role in the relationship. Butches are also known to dress and act aggressively like men. Fem (also known as lipstick lesbians or fish) are the submissive women and are often known to dress really feminine. And the in between Soft Butch (also called soft stud or fem-aggressive) lesbians that take on either or both the passive and aggressive roles and they tend to dress however they feel, feminine or a little masculine. I have been placed in the Butch and sometimes the soft butch category. I personally don't like the labels, all I know is that I love feminine women and I like to dress comfortably in men's clothing. Now you place me in your category.

Now 22 years old, I have dated quiet a few women in my short lesbian years. Living in the New York/New Jersey metropolitan area makes the living the lifestyle a little easy because a lot of people are receptive of it. For many gay people in the New York/New Jersey area, Christopher Street in Greenwich Village, New York is where they most feel comfortable to be themselves. This gay and lesbian friendly community is a main attraction for people to meet and hang out. Especially in the summer time, Christopher Street and "the pier" is the place to be. The annual pride parade is also held in this area, so this would be the first stop for anyone new to the lifestyle or area. New York City as a whole, in my opinion is one of the most gay and lesbian friendly cities. There are many bars and clubs that have nights dedicated to the lifestyle or are mainly for the lifestyle all year round. As with most heterosexual bars, it all depends on the kind of crowd you like to mingle with. Bars like Stonewall on Christopher St., Phoenix on E. 13th St are mostly gay men attractions. As for where the parties are for the ladies, I know beaucoup hang out spots. Places like 2i's, which has Thursday night parties for mature women trying to get a head start on their weekend partying. The crowd is a mixed and live. They also have live dancers to heat things up for the tame crowd. Friday nights, there's Extacy located on W28th with an 18 and older crowd, great drinks, live and attractive crowd. Then there's my personal favorite, Lovergirl's at Club Shelter, located on 39th St. between 5th and 6th Ave with a very mature crowd 21 and over. It has two levels of sexy lesbian fun, good drinks and a great place to meet some beautiful women, butch, fem or fem-aggressive. I always leave there feeling naughty. On Tuesdays, the place to be is Temperamental. It's a place where lesbians with various talents flaunt it with out criticism. Whether you talent is spoken word poetry or any form of music, you are more than welcome. And after all the talent show, it's party time. New York is definitely a fun place to be a lesbian, but I can't forget about my home state of New Jersey.

New Jersey in my opinion is not as gay friendly as New York, but downtown Newark on Broad and Market Street is getting known for its flood of gay and lesbian people, mostly teens that are slowly turning the historic area into another Christopher Street. I feel that the downtown area will in just a few years will become a full-blown Christopher St. replica. There are a few well-known clubs in New Jersey like the infamous Murphy's Tavern located on Edison Pl in the downtown Newark area. It attracts both the gay and lesbian crowd, but Thursday nights are especially for the lesbian women. Murphy's Tavern is known for the very mature crowd and their famous cheap and great drinks. Trust me, they are not stingy with the liquor. Then there's the also infamous Armory Tavern located on Orange St. in Newark. This is the place for lesbian women in New Jersey to be on Saturday nights. The party is hosted by the beautiful Ms. Theresa, a well-known lesbian icon within Newark and surrounding area. You can be sure to mingle with its mature crowd and if you're a fan of old-school and new school dance music, this is the place to be. I'd advice that you bring your dancing shoes because the New Jersey party crowd don't just like to look pretty, they like to get down! Another well-known lifestyle party is at the Colosseum in Edison, NJ which also has a very decent crowd, good, d.j, and of course, lots of beautiful women.

I would love to list all the many wonderful hang out spots, bars and clubs there are in New York and New Jersey for the very wonderful lifestyle that myself and many others live, but I have a dating life to pursue. It's especially hard for me since I'm a "butch" and it's hard to pick a feminine lesbian woman out of a crowd without knowing that she's in the life, but its easier for lesbian girl to spot me out of a crowd, but the gist is, since I'm the "aggressive" I'm expected to make the first move. Like I'm supposed to have super, mind and sexual preference reading powers? So my main fall back is to go some of the gay and lesbian friendly locations and events that I mentioned. Believe it or not I met my latest "friend" while hanging in front of a pizza place on Christopher St. Or just try to get hooked up with a friend's friend or cousin, you know how hook-ups go. So if you're having a hard time finding dates like I do sometimes, take your lonely butt to the city with a friendly and outgoing attitude, and trust me, you will get laid (like that wasn't your main goal).

For a list of some of the gay and lesbian friendly locations mentioned, you can visit http://newyork.citysearch.com/best/results/8446/ and www.pridenet.com/nj_bars.html